A Patna wala is NOT bluffing when he says that:
1) He is going to see Mona, Veena and Apsara in a single day. He is not talking about any foreign girl, or Indian lady or some damsel from Eden; these are Cinema halls at Patna.
2) He is going to Catch 11 AM Rajdhani Express to Delhi by leaving from home at 3 PM. He knows more about train timings than Indian Railways.
3) He can get you all engineering, medical or UPSC entrance exams material at a price one tenth of their original value. May be you are talking to a guy from GMP (Gandhi Maidan Publications).
4) He is a close relative of a cabinet minister, state minister or for the least an IAS officer.
5) He has a son who is preparing for the medical entrance exam for last 12 years after completing his +2. Don’t be surprised if he says his brother is still preparing for Bank PO, railways, UDC, LDC and BPSC for last 2 decades.
6) Only theatre where you can easily get tickets is the one running SRK starrer My Name Is Khan. Rest of the halls are booked over-capacity as they are running Ravi Kissen’s Bhojpuri movie “Pandit Ji, Batayee na Biyah Kab hoyee” ( Subtitles : Pandit ji.. Please tell, when will I get married?)
7) He can get you the same Kalashnikov which Osama is seen carrying with so much pride in each of his videos. And for this you won’t get into any troubles like other lesser mortals (read Sanjay Dutt).
8) Chhath is a bigger festival than Deewali or Navratra.
9) He knows that Neetu Chandra and Shatrughan Sinha are from Bihar but he is not very sure where Emperor Ashoka, Lord Budha and Bhagwan Mahavir belonged to.
10) Night Life for him means a night show at a theatre and coming home walking on foot.
11) He has seen Mamta Kulkarni dancing not only at silver screen but at his own flat.
12) He went to his college only thrice. First for taking admissions, second for getting his admit card and last time for results. Rest of the time there was some strike.
13) MasterCard’s Slogan “There are some things money can't buy” is false. It can buy you everything right from your degree, your Job, your spouse. You name it Dude!!
14) He can tell you which shop at Patna railway station sells best " Littee - Chokha" but he is not very sure where the ticket counter is. Please dont lose your mind if he says that he did not know that there is a ticket called platform ticket.
15) Last but not the Least: Bihar is changing for good and there is nothing that can stop us except ourselves. Ek bihari.. Sab per Bhaari :)
© Shekhar Suman
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