You can safely say that you are in Delhi when you see :
1) Word “Bihar” is still in fashion. People are not ashamed of naming their colonies after “Bihar”. Every colony is fighting for adding Bihar to its name. Trend does not look like fading away any soon.. You will have more Sapna Bihars, Yamuna Bihars coming in future.
2) People are continuously talking about a place where there are no fools or “Aey-Da” as we call in Marathi. Don’t believe me? The place they are referring to is named “No-Eda”.
3) There is a place which is so crowded that you can not stand there, shops are so costly that you can not buy anything, girls are wearing dresses you can not take your eyes off, parking lots are so full, that you can not park your car. No wonder the place is called “Can – Not Place”.
4) There is a garden where you can still see men and women displaying affection in most primitive fashion ignoring all people around them as if they don’t even exist. No I am not talking about Adam and eve in Eden Park. I am simply talking about Lodhi Garden.
5) The school kids are so talented that they make movies which are bigger hits than 3 idiots, even without stars like Aamir Khan and Kareena. Forget stars, they don’t even need a camera. They simply shoot themselves with their mobile. Chances of you having seen that movie is at least 3 times more than your chances of having seen 3 idiots. No? Let’s be honest.. You want to see that movie more than you want to see 3 idiots. Sorry Raju Hirani.. You still have to improve a lot.
6) People around you are so naïve that they speak out their mind. They just can’t pretend. They will say what they think. You don’t believe me. Just look around. Do you see a beautiful girl walking alone down the street? Yes? Then soon you will see people around her telling her how beautiful she is and what they think about her features (read ‘curves’). What did you say? You are a girl and nothing like this happened to you? Sorry Buddy.. Face the ugly truth: You are not beautiful enough.
7) There are people who still believe in Jadoo Tona and concepts like Wishing Well. The city has a Wishing Well and every political party, NGO, Mahila Mukti Morcha, and Human Rights Organisation go there and do a “Dharna” hoping their demands will be fulfilled. Want to try your luck too? Go to Jantar-Mantar. You will find people like you trying their luck. You will have company for sure.
8) You don’t have to visit different cities in India….visit Delhi and you see them all… You have higher temperature than Chennai during summers, lower temperature than Shimla during winters, more Biharis than in Patna and more Punjabis than in Punjab( Pakistani Punjab included).!!
9) Michael Schumacher is over rated and over hyped. It is very easy to drive a Ferrari on an empty racing track. Can he drive a fully crowded Blue Line bus at even half the speed at which the drivers drive their racing buses?
10) Last but not the least… People still believe in family values…they never forget or let others forget their blood relatives. Everyone keeps on reminding his fellowmen about their mothers and sisters in every second line with or without any reason.
Joke samajh mein nahin aaya? Teri maa.. Bancho!! Ab Samjhe?
© Shekhar Suman
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