Dedicated to one friend who truly believes that in India only two
things sell.. SRK and Sex.. This post sells the later one.. Thanks AP :)
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These days whenever I pick newspaper or browse news on internet, I see news about mercury going down in every part of country. Our country is witnessing almost unprecedented chilly weather. People are forced to stay within their homes as sun guest appearances have been edited by nature more ruthlessly than Akshay Kumar edits his co-star’s roles. Many people feel depressed staying at home and they take up the idea of dating a girl to get rid of their depression.
Dating during winters is such a bad idea to start with to deal with your depression. It’s like throwing a bucket of gasoline to the fire to dowse it. Dating during winters is only going to increase your depressions. You are lucky to have a friend like me to tell you and warn you against the perils of this bad idea.
.
You don’t seem convinced!! Well.. Here are the reasons why I feel so..Read on and decide yourself.
1) Guys don’t feel their date to be complete unless they take the girl for a long ride on their bikes. After all, if John got access to Bips’s Lips, his bike has a role to play apart from his hot body esp. butt. I mean, for a guys it’s the simplest way to show how fast they can be, and how strongly they are in control by applying sharp bakes every 200 meters. But in winters, the girl won’t agree for a bike ride. She will tell you that she might lose the natural moisture from her skin by fast winds. It’s different matter that her 100 % natural skin moistures come from Olay moisturisers which also hide seven signs of aging. Btw, even during the short bike ride she agreed for and you applied brakes 15 times... What you felt was her soft fur jacket... You moron!!
2) You must have read in schools, during winters days are shorter. Sun sets early. So you plan of taking her to an empty theatre during night shows are pre-poned to crowded Matinee show/evening show. Yeah... If it’s only the movie you are interested in, show timings, seat locations and crowd do not matter. For any other purpose, IT DOES!!
3) Wise men have always said... Don’t judge a book by its cover. I doubt the person, who said this for the first time, burnt his fingers while trying to judge his girlfriends physical features during winters. Man... She is covered in warmers, pullovers, jackets and mufflers. Well fat girls will make an excuse... It’s my woollen garments... they make me look so fat. Still worse, if you are believer of Bigger is better; you can be fooled easily during winters. Even smartest person on earth can be cheated to imagine a girl to be Salma Hayek type, when she is not even Cameron Diaz. Looks like it’s not only books which should be judged without cover.
4) Winters are known for seasons of festivals. Start form Puja, Deewali, Thanks giving, New Year, Christmas and not to forget the Valentine’s Day. Guys... are you getting what I am saying? You end up giving gifts on all of these occasions. And even after such heavy investments you are likely to be subjected to higher risks of cheated and guaranteed lower returns. Even a lousy Finance student like me, can tell you that this is not a good idea to invest.
5) Since you don’t meet girl for longer time, you end up talking to her on mobile phones. Remember your moral education teacher telling you “Sex is bad”. Here is the better moral “Phone sex is worse”. After all it’s more of phone, less of sex. Phone sex during winters in the worst. The moaning sound you heard over phone and you took that as sign of her sexual attraction for you. Sorry for breaking your heart... But she was simply feeling cold as she went on the terrace to receive your pesky sleazy call. It has nothing to do with your six packs or inches.
6) Last but not the least: Please don’t overrate your lady as a HOT diva, coz you got one HOT kiss from her. Man.. The outside temperature is 6 degree Celsius and Average human body is 37 degree Celsius. That’s a temperature difference of almost 30 degrees. Obviously you felt hot. It’s normal. Your GF is normal or may be below normal. Forget girl... Even if you kiss your dog, he/she will give you that hot kiss and hot breath on your neck. Its weather... not her!! You see... The pains you took for taking a bath before each date resulted you in his. You can kiss your dog without taking bath. She/he won’t mind.
So here is the advice... Ignore it for your own peril. Wait till summers come. Sun stays for longer time. Then you can have real fun in the sun.
These days whenever I pick newspaper or browse news on internet, I see news about mercury going down in every part of country. Our country is witnessing almost unprecedented chilly weather. People are forced to stay within their homes as sun guest appearances have been edited by nature more ruthlessly than Akshay Kumar edits his co-star’s roles. Many people feel depressed staying at home and they take up the idea of dating a girl to get rid of their depression.
Dating during winters is such a bad idea to start with to deal with your depression. It’s like throwing a bucket of gasoline to the fire to dowse it. Dating during winters is only going to increase your depressions. You are lucky to have a friend like me to tell you and warn you against the perils of this bad idea.
.
You don’t seem convinced!! Well.. Here are the reasons why I feel so..Read on and decide yourself.
1) Guys don’t feel their date to be complete unless they take the girl for a long ride on their bikes. After all, if John got access to Bips’s Lips, his bike has a role to play apart from his hot body esp. butt. I mean, for a guys it’s the simplest way to show how fast they can be, and how strongly they are in control by applying sharp bakes every 200 meters. But in winters, the girl won’t agree for a bike ride. She will tell you that she might lose the natural moisture from her skin by fast winds. It’s different matter that her 100 % natural skin moistures come from Olay moisturisers which also hide seven signs of aging. Btw, even during the short bike ride she agreed for and you applied brakes 15 times... What you felt was her soft fur jacket... You moron!!
2) You must have read in schools, during winters days are shorter. Sun sets early. So you plan of taking her to an empty theatre during night shows are pre-poned to crowded Matinee show/evening show. Yeah... If it’s only the movie you are interested in, show timings, seat locations and crowd do not matter. For any other purpose, IT DOES!!
3) Wise men have always said... Don’t judge a book by its cover. I doubt the person, who said this for the first time, burnt his fingers while trying to judge his girlfriends physical features during winters. Man... She is covered in warmers, pullovers, jackets and mufflers. Well fat girls will make an excuse... It’s my woollen garments... they make me look so fat. Still worse, if you are believer of Bigger is better; you can be fooled easily during winters. Even smartest person on earth can be cheated to imagine a girl to be Salma Hayek type, when she is not even Cameron Diaz. Looks like it’s not only books which should be judged without cover.
4) Winters are known for seasons of festivals. Start form Puja, Deewali, Thanks giving, New Year, Christmas and not to forget the Valentine’s Day. Guys... are you getting what I am saying? You end up giving gifts on all of these occasions. And even after such heavy investments you are likely to be subjected to higher risks of cheated and guaranteed lower returns. Even a lousy Finance student like me, can tell you that this is not a good idea to invest.
5) Since you don’t meet girl for longer time, you end up talking to her on mobile phones. Remember your moral education teacher telling you “Sex is bad”. Here is the better moral “Phone sex is worse”. After all it’s more of phone, less of sex. Phone sex during winters in the worst. The moaning sound you heard over phone and you took that as sign of her sexual attraction for you. Sorry for breaking your heart... But she was simply feeling cold as she went on the terrace to receive your pesky sleazy call. It has nothing to do with your six packs or inches.
6) Last but not the least: Please don’t overrate your lady as a HOT diva, coz you got one HOT kiss from her. Man.. The outside temperature is 6 degree Celsius and Average human body is 37 degree Celsius. That’s a temperature difference of almost 30 degrees. Obviously you felt hot. It’s normal. Your GF is normal or may be below normal. Forget girl... Even if you kiss your dog, he/she will give you that hot kiss and hot breath on your neck. Its weather... not her!! You see... The pains you took for taking a bath before each date resulted you in his. You can kiss your dog without taking bath. She/he won’t mind.
So here is the advice... Ignore it for your own peril. Wait till summers come. Sun stays for longer time. Then you can have real fun in the sun.
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