26th January reminds us that we are living in the
largest republic. Republics are known for the fundamental rights it
gives to its citizens. I thought of reminding you of a fundamental right
to you might have forgotten. It is the right to laugh. Here is the list
when you can use that right to laugh..
You have a right to laugh:
1) When Indian leaders say that India will be overtaking China very soon. Here "Soon" might be longer than a hundred years.
2) When a cabinet minister says that prices are under control. What he has in control is the cash flow from black marketers.
3) When Laloo Prasad says that he is going to be the next Prime Minister. You should ask “of which country?”
4) Mayavati says that Uttar Pradesh Budget deficit is not due to expenditures on parks and statues.
You have a right to ask “is it due to your currency garlands and Jewellery”?
5) When Kalmadi says India is ready for hosting Olympics under his leadership. You can only say “We believe in you sir”.
6) When Mamta Banerjee says that she is the railway minister for India not west Bengal. She is right; all train she declares goes to every part of country. It only starts at Howrah.
7) When Lal Krishna Advani says that BJP will do everything for the Ram Mandir. Ask him to say it again. May be for a change He may say the name of Lord Ram with honesty and purity at heart.
8) When any political party says that they really want Woman reservation bill to pass. Actually they want woman everywhere except in parliament.
9) When Manmohan Singh says that he is the Prime Minister. Dear sir, Let me rephrase the question. Who is the real prime minister then?
10) When Rahul Gandhi says that Young leader like him should be given more powers. He means that he is young at forty and he wants more power to shuffle cabinets and governers. Responsibilities can wait till he matures.
11) When Bal Thackray says that he is Hindu Hriday Samrat (Ruler of Hindu hearts). You can only say.. Good one sir!!
12) When Karunanidhi says that he is going to retire. This means he is going to die. Plan for a family holiday because there will be a state sponsored bandh.
13) When Sharad Pawar says that he has enough time to handle both cricket IPL and farmer suicides. What he means that farmer suicide being such a minor issue, it cant keep him occupied for whole time. He needs something else to think about.
14) When health minister says that he is going to ban smoking and drinking. Don’t worry he is talking about movies only.
15) When leader of opposition says that they want Parliament to function properly. He is talking about sessions when they talk about increasing their own salaries and perks.
16) When home minister says that they can talk to Maoists to find a solution. Somebody ask him if he understands the problem.
17) When a government says that they are going to form a committee to investigate something. You should be happy they have given employment to some retired judge for at least a decade.
18) When a minister says that he is resigning on “moral grounds” after getting caught in a scam. He means that he still has morality to leave his post so that some another colleague of him can also earn.
19) When defense minister accuses Pakistan for the attack/blast within 10 minutes of the incident. Ask him when he is going to submit proofs to USA about the terror camps in Pakistan for the nth time .
20) When Shelia Dixit says that Delhi is safe for woman under a woman chief minister. She means that she is trying to restrict rapes per hours to 10.
21) Last but not the least: When Rabri devi says anything.. I mean anything.
You have a right to laugh:
1) When Indian leaders say that India will be overtaking China very soon. Here "Soon" might be longer than a hundred years.
2) When a cabinet minister says that prices are under control. What he has in control is the cash flow from black marketers.
3) When Laloo Prasad says that he is going to be the next Prime Minister. You should ask “of which country?”
4) Mayavati says that Uttar Pradesh Budget deficit is not due to expenditures on parks and statues.
You have a right to ask “is it due to your currency garlands and Jewellery”?
5) When Kalmadi says India is ready for hosting Olympics under his leadership. You can only say “We believe in you sir”.
6) When Mamta Banerjee says that she is the railway minister for India not west Bengal. She is right; all train she declares goes to every part of country. It only starts at Howrah.
7) When Lal Krishna Advani says that BJP will do everything for the Ram Mandir. Ask him to say it again. May be for a change He may say the name of Lord Ram with honesty and purity at heart.
8) When any political party says that they really want Woman reservation bill to pass. Actually they want woman everywhere except in parliament.
9) When Manmohan Singh says that he is the Prime Minister. Dear sir, Let me rephrase the question. Who is the real prime minister then?
10) When Rahul Gandhi says that Young leader like him should be given more powers. He means that he is young at forty and he wants more power to shuffle cabinets and governers. Responsibilities can wait till he matures.
11) When Bal Thackray says that he is Hindu Hriday Samrat (Ruler of Hindu hearts). You can only say.. Good one sir!!
12) When Karunanidhi says that he is going to retire. This means he is going to die. Plan for a family holiday because there will be a state sponsored bandh.
13) When Sharad Pawar says that he has enough time to handle both cricket IPL and farmer suicides. What he means that farmer suicide being such a minor issue, it cant keep him occupied for whole time. He needs something else to think about.
14) When health minister says that he is going to ban smoking and drinking. Don’t worry he is talking about movies only.
15) When leader of opposition says that they want Parliament to function properly. He is talking about sessions when they talk about increasing their own salaries and perks.
16) When home minister says that they can talk to Maoists to find a solution. Somebody ask him if he understands the problem.
17) When a government says that they are going to form a committee to investigate something. You should be happy they have given employment to some retired judge for at least a decade.
18) When a minister says that he is resigning on “moral grounds” after getting caught in a scam. He means that he still has morality to leave his post so that some another colleague of him can also earn.
19) When defense minister accuses Pakistan for the attack/blast within 10 minutes of the incident. Ask him when he is going to submit proofs to USA about the terror camps in Pakistan for the nth time .
20) When Shelia Dixit says that Delhi is safe for woman under a woman chief minister. She means that she is trying to restrict rapes per hours to 10.
21) Last but not the least: When Rabri devi says anything.. I mean anything.
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