Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Punjab produced a sardar when..

 Punjab has always been a land of mystery and fascination for me. They are the biggest wheat producer in the country yet they eat Makke di Roti. They are among the richest states in India, yet they have to share their capital with two other states. They are one of the best looking people on earth (Talking strictly about girls only), yet when anybody visits their capital, the best thing they showcase to them is made up of garbage.  They export sardars more than strawberries and wheat, yet their balance sheet never mentions them.



Talking about sardars; I am most surprised by them. My first introduction to sardar was by a sardar joke. I am yet to understand how sardar jokes got into popular culture, when they are certainly among the smartest people around. In fact Punjab has been coming up with iconic Sardars whenever India needed them most. It’s like Lord Krishna saying to Arjuna  “ Yada Yada Hi Dharmasya..” . In reality Punjab has given us notable sardars who did things only they could do.


Here is a list of some of those situations and respective Sardars Punjab gave us:

1)      When India saw that British needs to be shown that Indians are not all about peaceful marches and hunger strikes; When it was necessary to communicate to our tormenter rulers that we too have got sons of the soil who can lay their lives for their mother country, Punjab produced a Sardar called Bhagat Singh. You can imagine the contribution of him when a boy aged 23 years is called Shaheed-e-Azam.


2)      When Australian cricket team was winning all matches;  when cricketers all around the world were scared of their deadly bowling and deadlier sledging;  when people like Andrew Symonds thought that no one could look into their eyes; and When India needed someone who could let the arrogant Australian team have a taste of their own medicine;  Punjab produced a Sardar called Harbhajan Singh.  You don’t need to be  told what happened when Harbhajan faced Australian team. Neither Australia nor Indian team remained the same there after.


3)      When India was shackled in Quota- license-permit raj; When getting a phone at your home took 4 years; When Bajaj scooter was the most efficient vehicle at 10 kms per lite; When red tapism ruled all across country;  there was not much to cheer up  Indians, Punjab produced a Sardar called Jaspal Bhatti . That man showed that We Indians are capable of laughing at ourselves, our failures and our short-comings. He reinvented the art of Satire on television. Well there are not many shows bigger hit than ‘Flop Show’.


4)      When a lady was trying to get all lime lights; when she wanted to make name at all costs, when she tried every trick in the book starting from going under knife, wearing outrageous clothes, working in cheap video songs; when she tried everything for getting famous but failed, Punjab produced a Sardar called Mika Singh with the Midas touch. The day Mika Singh touched her, she got more fame than Mother Teresa. It won’t be an overstatement that Rakhi Sawant is still eating fruits of the Kiss , I mean tree Mika Singh planted.



5)      When people thought people who can laugh loud should be used behind the screen to provide laughter track; when people thought cricket commentary is all the same whosoever be the commentator; when people thought a man who remember cheap shayrees and quotes should be used only writing those cheap shayrees on the back of a truck; when people thought defense is the only valid technique for facing Shane Warne; Punjab produced a Sardar to change everything. In fact this Sardar redefined the way how to play Shane Warne, he redefined the way cricket commentary should be done, he invented a new career called laughing on national TV and he redefined the place for cheap poems and quotes. That sardar is called Navjot Singh Siddhu.

6) When world thought that Japanese are the smartest people, no one can cut a deal with them which didnt benefit Japanese more than other party, when people thought Japanese will never need to buy anything from outside as far as technology is concerned, Punjab produced a sardar called Malvinder Singh. He showed the world that only a sardar can get the best deal out of  Smart Japanese asses.




7)      When world thought India will never be able to break the shackles of ‘Hindu growth rate’; When world thought India will never be a golden bird again; When world thought India lacked the economic acumen and wisdom that was required to be a superpower in 21st century;  Punjab produced a Sardar called Dr Manmohan Singh. Dr Manmohan with another Sardar named Montek Singh showed that world that the Indian elephant can not only run but it can run fast enough to scare the dragon and the bald eagle. Nobody has dared to underestimate the economic prowess and acumen of India since this sardar has arrived.



8)      When India saw that there will be a MBA batch called SCMHRD 08-10, who will love to have batch parties to celebrate even smallest of the causes with unlimited chicken and flowing Vodka, Punjab produced a sardar called Amneet Singh Sodhi to organize those batch parties.  But only organizing those batch parties was not enough, You needed someone who could make  every female around feel safe in an room which smelt of chicken and Vodka; Punjab produced another Sardar called Harvinder Pal Singh. Both gentlemen touched neither chicken nor Vodka, yet were the integral part of all batch parties. You don’t believe me, pick any picture of any batch party. You will see what I mean.

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