Showing posts with label English. Show all posts
Showing posts with label English. Show all posts

Sunday, February 14, 2021

The Invisible Hand

Capitalism and Socialism are more than just two ideologies, these are like two balancing forces of nature. There is a constant dual struggle going on between these two. Capitalism makes sure to make its presence felt in the desert of socialism like an oasis whereas Socialism often appears as a pearl island in the deep dark sea of capitalism.

Let's understand it via some examples. India mainly formed it's economic policies in decades post independence on socialist principles. From a scooter to hair oil to airline or bathroom cleaner was manufactured/run by the government. I remember one interesting incident where I had an opportunity to listen to a guest lecture by VP of marketing of Bajaj automobile. He said, " I learnt marketing after I became VP ( he became VP after LPG reforms of 1991) , before that I was a rationing officer.i simply used to decide who will get a scooter and when. Marketing was never seen the way I see it now. "

This anecdote clearly captures how strong socialism and socialistic principles were in Indian economy at that time. And during same time, Dhiru bhai Ambani was creating a company named Reliance that today is seen as a  tower of capitalism. Ambani is synonymous with capitalism and that's why a favourite word in our political discourse. It is interesting to know that Ambanis built the foundation of their empire during socialist era.

While above example shows how capitalism makes its presence felt during dominance of socialism, let's see how socialism beats all odds and raises it's head at on capitalism turf. Social media and internet is a product of capitalism. All social media companies and search engines are governed by profit seeking MNCs and corporates. Now the fruits of capitalism i.e. these widespread reach of internet and social media have brought socialism like never before.

You want to listen to a song, it's free on YouTube. You want to read any article/book just type it on Google.You want to have a video conferencing call, it's free on Zoom. You want to study any subject, there is a plethora of knowledge spead all over the internet. You want to have a peek into your favourite actor/actress life and see their pics, just follow them on Instagram. You want to know thoughts of your favourite thinker, follow him/her on Twitter. It's all free free free.. It's nothing but socialism brought by capitalism. And such level of democratization and decentralisation was never brought by socialism though it dreams of doing the same.

And it is not some new revelation. Adam Smith in his book 'Wealth of Nations' talked about a 'Invisible Hand' thoery. Though he talked about attaining results of socialism via capitalism, it is equally valid other way too. 

This ongoing battle between these two ideologies can be best captured in Joker's dialogue in The dark knight climax scene.  " You just couldn't let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You truly are incorruptible, aren't you, huh? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness, and I won't kill you because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever. "

Saturday, January 30, 2021

Let him bee...

Let me tell you a sweet story about bees and bears.. Bees are the one who gather pollen from thousands of flowers, fly across miles, deposit their booty in their comb and make honey. They keep on working their life long, keep making honey, construct new colonies and die working tirelessly.

Compare them to bears. Bears eat and eat. They sleep, my pardon.. they hibernate, i.e. they can sleep for months.. for sleeping such long times, they need loads of energy and food. Guess from where they get this enormous energy of supply for their glutton appetite ? From honey combs.. same honey which bees gather. Honey that has been gathered over a full season can be eaten by a bear in minutes..

Now let's talk about the public perception of bees and bears. Bears are cute.. you get toys called teddy bears for kids and young girls to cuddle. Same people run away from bees because they sting. No one gets a bee toy and bees rank lowest in cuteness index. No one remember their contribution while passing judgement on them.

So in case you feel treated like bees that someone else takes all fruits of your hard labor and you are seen as the one who stings.. while the one plundering your credit gets hugs and cuddles and is called cute. Don't blame anyone, all you have to do is to fly to greener pastures in search of valley of flowers and continue doing work. In case you wait for the same treatment which bears get, let me tell you, your wait is going to last till eternity. And in case you are the bear, thank your stars. Though it is not in your nature to be thankful, but knowing the reality helps sometimes.

Even in human generations, there are two three 'Bee' generation and then one generation comes which is a 'Bear'. This bear generation eats all the honey, destroys the colony and coming generations doesn't have any choice be bees again. That's the eternal cycle that goes on in almost every sphere of life. So next time you find a boring non descript person, keeping to himself, bad at making pleasant conversation and who often stings if you cut his path, let him be.. May be he is the bee working for bears like you. It's better for whole system to exist. Let him bee.. 

Thursday, January 14, 2021

Ramayana Serial : A quick take on its re-telecast

Don't judge Ramayana serial by its poor graphics, loud acting and somewhat slow pace. The soaring popularity and viewership of it only reminds us of following.
1) Honesty and simplicity never goes out of fashion. Ramanand Sagar's serial is nothing but a simple and honest effort to tell an epic everyone loves and knows about. To tell the same story on a entirely new medium is very tough. To tell it simply, is unimaginably tough.
2) Emotions are not overrated. Emotions control everything. People liking Ramayana is like Anton Ego loving Ratatouille dish because it reminded him of his mother's cooking. Once emotions get involved, hardly anything else matters. Hence it is a double edged sword. Once you invoke negative emotions, very tough to turn it around.
3) Content is winner. If writing is good, you don't need actors with chiseled bodies and six packs. You can be a winner with paunched actors with bad makeup. Only thing matters, is that they speak sense. And unlike today's TV, there is more action and reactions.
4) Power of goodness is way beyond imagination. One good act overshadows hundreds of bad acts. Arun Govil and Deepika may not be the greatest actors around, but will always be remembered. So will Ramanand Sagar as a director. It like having Joginder Sharma's last over or Laxman's 281, all your sins are forgotten.



5) Power and influence of Ram is unimaginable. Sometimes I wonder what kind of person in real he was. No other personality has such power and influence in India. You can't claim to know India and Indians without knowing Ram.
6) TV is not the idiots box it has become in recent years. It can still revive. Bring good content and sanitize the viewers affected from Splitsvilla and Bigg Boss. And thats where the magic starts.

Monday, January 11, 2021

Neha Kakkar Vs Tim Paine

Why Tim Paine is still captain of Australia? Because here is what Australian selectors think of other candidates..

Warner : Abe agar kisi Tiktok wale ko hi captain banana hai to Neha Kakkar ko na bana dein..

Smith: Abe agar kisi Rotdu ko hi captain banana hai to Neha Kakkar ko na bana dein..

Labuschange: Abe agar kisi drama queen ko hi banana hai to Neha Kakkar ko na bana dein..

Lyon: Abe agar kisi gareeb per daya hi karni hai to Neha Kakkar ko na bana dein..
Pat Cummins: Abe agar kisi funny suggestive surname wale ko hi captain banana hai to Neha Kakkar ko na bana dein.. 

Tim Paine : Yeh hamara star hai.. Isko caption banayenge.. 
Others : Yeh star hai? Akmal isse achchi keeping karta tha..
Selectors: Tum samjhe nahin.. Yeh Tim-Tim karta hai na, isiliye hamara star hai.. Yahi banega captain. #IndVsAus 
#AUSvIND 

Tuesday, January 5, 2021

Shaadi mein jaroor aana remakes

I just saw movie "Shaadi mein jaroor aana" after I listened to and liked the song Jogi. Movie has an interesting plot, a guy gets rejected by a girl because she gets a PCS job on wedding night. She runs away from the wedding because the boy is an ordinary clerk. Rejected boy wants revenge and works hard to become an IAS officer. Now girl realizes her mistake and woos the boy back. This movie plot about PCS and IAS is too much UP Bihar centric, but since it is an interesting plot it can be remade in different languages with some modifications.

Punjabi version:
Girl runs away on wedding night because she gets her Canada visa and boy still has a blank Indian passport. Boy works hard and gets UK citizenship and opens a restaurant at Southall, London. Now girl realizes her mistake and woos the boy back.

Title: Shaadi mein jaroor aana, Brit citizenship le jaana

Gujarati version:
Girl runs away on wedding night because she gets a marriage offer from a big share market broker called Mehta while boy is still a petrol pump guy. Guy works hard and opens an oil refinery. Girl realizes mistake after Mehta loses his money in sensex crash one day and woos the boy back.

Title: maro dhandho ko chhoto na samajhna..
Shaadi mein jaroor aana

Marathi version:
Girl runs away on wedding night because she gets an offer from other guy who takes oath as CM on same night by doing some setting with the governor. The dejected boy who has only one third MLAs required to be the CM, forms an alliance with his archrivals and gets the majority to become the CM. Boy after becoming CM, orders demolition of her illegal flat that he only had gifted her during courtship period. Girl realizes her mistake and woos the boy back.

Title: majhya lagnat swagat aahe
Me ata mukhyamantri aahe.

Hollywood version ( directed by Tarantino): Girl had to run away on wedding night because psycho goons kills the groom at the altar. Girl trains in Japanese sword martial arts for revenge. But when she returns she realizes that killer of her groom is actually a bounty hunter and has become filthy rich after the massacre at her wedding as her groom was a wanted outlaw. Girl realizes her mistake and woos the bounty hunter for marriage.

Title: The hateful bounty hunter wedding.

Bong version: Girl Bela Bose ditches Anirban Chaudhary by running away from wedding. She marries a guy named Sondipan Guha and hence becomes Bela Bose Guha. Meanwhile Anirban is dejected but forgets her soon as it's pooja time in Kolkata. Meanwhile Bela feels bad about her  new short name as everyone calls her biwi ji ( BBG). Frustrated with her new short name, She comes back and woos Anirban and  becomes Bela Bose Choudhary ( BBC)



Wednesday, July 11, 2018

to Ojas .. on 4th bday

I want you to follow your own dreams, yet I wish you fulfill all my dreams I could not achieve.

I want you to be independent and fearless, yet I am worried even when you simply want to walk without holding my finger.

I want you to be a self-made man, yet I cannot stop the urge to provide you with everything beyond my capacity.

I want to spend time with you, yet I often make choices to go away from you so that I can spend time with you.

I want you to value inner qualities like love and compassion over skin deep beauty, yet I feel you are the most beautiful kid in this world.

I want you to be down to earth and modest, yet I am so proud of you.

In future, as a grown up, I am the person with whom your opinions may clash the most, yet I will be your biggest supporter in whatever you decide to do.

I am your old man, yet I am at my youngest when I am with you.

Happy 4th birthday Dear Ojas...


Her name is Sadia Anas.

Myth : Her name is Tanvi Seth..
Fact :. Her name is Sadia Anas.

Myth: They are an interfaith couple.
Fact: They are a muslim couple as she converted to Islam during her nikaah.

Myth : She was harrassed during passport interview.
Fact: She was asked valid questions to prove her eligibility by showing valid and consistent documents.

Myth: She is a victim.
Fact: She is not victim. Victim is that person who got marching orders despite doing his job not a person who got passport despite wrong name, incorrect address and negative police verification.

Myth: Sushma Swaraj is a victim.
Truth : Sushma swaraj is a coward who is hiding behind that victim card and dodging legitimate questions.

Myth: BJP doesn't believe in appeasement.
Fact: BJP suffers from low self esteem so they always seek approval from left liberals and pseudo seculars who they claim to be fighting against.

This is Shah Bano case BJP edition. In Shah Bano a true victim was denied her rights by politics of appeasement. Here a fraud drama queen is given lollypop of passport dripping in appeasement syrup. This appeasement syrup is made by mixing sugary dreams of BJP for muslim votes in ganga jamuni tahzeeb water and cooked over pyres of all rules and an honest officer called Vikas Mishra.

Ojas 5th bday

Today is a special day for me.. I am a five year old father today. and what do you expect from a five year old? Goofy, naughty, free from worries and looking forward to nothing but joy..
But its not that simple.. The world is asking me to get serious now.. World is asking me to stop enjoying and work more as a father.. They say I am buying too many toys but should buy more books now.. I want be to be careless and naughty, but they want me to be more coy. When I resist, they say.. tum hi bigad rahe ho bete ko.
I am sure at the school I am sending you now, they are telling you some do's and piling you with tonnes of dont's. Listen to them and try to follow them as many of them serve you good. But there is no one in history who became a great man following all those rules.. To do something different, you have to break some rules.. or may be most of those rules.. Which rules you want to break ? How can I tell? I am just a five year old father.. That will be your decision. But before breaking these rules, learn these rules.. Thats why I am sponsoring your school. You have to learn their game to beat them at it..
You have everything to do that.. Sometimes I envy you.. How easily you get everything you want.. Wish as a grownup I could replace some of my plans with your perseverance.. Really.. You get everything as per your wish , from toys, to books, games and and you do it without hurting anyone, without losing any friends, with no stress and no tension.. Remember this recipe in your heart, it will be handy when you grow up.. It will be your key to success. In case you forget, I wont be able to teach you this as I have almost forgotten this now.
One little exception.. You can break any rule you want but not this one.. Always love your family.. Because if you damage that, the spare you get are not reliable.. and when you get damage, there is no one more reliable than family.
yeah.. You may realize maintaining a family comes at a cost.. It has a high maintenance cost.. You have to be a mule for them and you have to be a tiger for them.. bit tough.. But who said good things come cheap ? And yes.. add some friends to your family.. Have few but close friends.. Like your family.. How to have a loving family and close friends? Be smart for the world but stay naive for them.. Smarter you become while dealing with friends and family, dumber you are in the long run..
Enough of all this.. I am gonna enjoy my fifth birthday as a father today... There is a cake.. There are candles.. There are gifts.. There are people.. all cheering me.. and you are helping me tear all those gift wrappers.. How thoughtful.. Thanks Son..
And by the way.. Isn't it a coincidence that you are also completing 5 years today.. Love and happy birthday Dear Ojas

Some myths and facts about Kashmir Issue

Some myths and facts about Kashmir Issue :

Myth: Its a territorial dispute.
Fact : It is a religious issue where Islamists are fighting against whom they call Kafirs.

Myth: Talking to the separatists/Pakistan will give us solution.
Fact : Situation will worsen unless demography of valley changes. Allow people from mainland India to settle there. Start with native Kashmiri Pandits. Article 370 has to go.

Myth : Kashmiri youth want jobs /education .
Fact : Stone pelters are radicalized cunning people who want only perks . They never pelt stones on those who burn schools.

Myth: Kashmir is an integral part of India.
Fact : Islamists have captured Kashmir from us. We need military action to win it back before calling it an integral part of India.

Myth : Battle for kashmir is only in the valley.
Fact : Battle is everywhere. Especially in Delhi power corridors where a nexus of leftists, separatists and media makes sure India always sticks to talks and no firm action is taken. Support system of these separatists in Delhi has to broken for once and all.

Bahubali -2

If Mahesh Bhatt makes Baahubali, Baahubali will be an illicit child of Devasena from her extramarital affair and Bhallaldev will be played by Emraan hashmi who will run a brothel.

If Karan Johar makes Baahubali , Katappa will be a gay warrier who will conduct a pride parade in Mahishmati opposed by gayphobic king Bhallaldev.

‌If Anuraag Kashyap makes Baahubali, Devsena will hurl so many abuses at Bhallaldev and Nawaz will play Baahubali a psychopath serial killer with disturbed childhood who wants to avenge for her mother.
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‌If Sanjay leela Bhansali makes Baahubali, Devsena will sing love songs with Bhallaldeva in a dream sequence.
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‌If Yashraj makes Baahubali, Mahishmati will resemble Zurich and Geneva.
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‌If Congress makes Baahubali, it will be named Bhallaldev, Shivgami will be of foreign origin.. Baahubali will be the villain.
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‌If BJP makes Baahubali, Bhallaldev will be beaten black and blue by gaurakshaks for killing a bull.
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‌If Samajwadi party makes Baahubali, Baahubali will be called Bhau Ali..
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If David Dhawan makes Baahubali, Bhalla and Bahu will be good for nothing spoilt brats who will chase Devsena and her girlfriend singing cheap songs.

If RGV makes Bahubali, not sure what will happen as no one will watch it..

If I make Baahubali, I will get at max. 50 likes on Facebook.. :(

devil lies in the details

There is a saying that devil lies in the details.. thats why people people hate details.. they want conclusions.. they want one gist.. one face.. one person.. whom they can felicitate, condemn, criticise and worship..

kill the villain in the climax of the movie, be happy that all evil is gone.. clap clap.. you got a person, a face to be blamed.. villain killed.. evil gone..

..india wins world cup.. everyone contributed.. from coaching staff, selectors, groundsmen, net bowlers, ten players and a captain.. felicitating everyone is tough.. thats like going into details.. felicitate the captain.. make him a hero.. thats easy and convenient..why bother analyzing all factors for the victory..

Pilgrims gets killed in Amarnath.. there are many factors responsible for it.. from islamic forces, lapse in security, some cross border planning and local facilitators.. how to solve that.. talking about every factor is like going into details.. thats boring.. find a whipping boy.. sometime it may be local DM, DSP or even home minister.. fire him .. transfer him.. roast him on social media.. does it solve any issue.. may be.. may be not.. but you escaped the boring task of going into details.. you have found a face.. get your frustration out..
You have not solved 'the problem' .. you have solved 'your problem'..

Problem is still lying there in details smiling at us.. fully assured that hardly anyone will bother coming to him.. problem knows that people will take the easier route and always find a face to blame instead of finding him. they will take shortcuts and will be smearing one face..because thats easy and convenient.. may be thats the problem..

A Quick Guide For Punjab to Understand Kejriwal



Now there is a real chance that Kejriwal may be heading towards the Punjab CM office. Come this Holi, Kejriwal may be doing Bhangra while it may be a real ‘Akaal’ ( famine) for Akalis.
As someone said, hope for the best and prepare for the worst. It will be useful for Punjabis to understand Kejriwal and his WOW( way of working). Unless you understand Kejri, you will face great difficulties in understanding the following theories which are bound to be proposed under chief minister-ship of Kejriwal:

1) All the problems faced by Chandigarh, are actually due to BJP government of Haryana .
2) Real enemy of Punjabis is not on the west side of border but on the east side of it. Sitting in Delhi.
3) Drug problem across border in Punjab is due only one fact that Indian army is not under Punjab govt. Only solution is to handover Indian army to Punjab government.
4) Chandigarh should be given full capitalhood else Modi is responsible everything bad happening in there. Till it happens, Chandigarh will be capital of Punjab on even days and capital for Haryana on odd days. Chandigarh bole dil se.. Odd Even phir se..
Understanding Arvind Kejriwal and his politics may be a humbling exercise even professional political analysts. Such are his maverick ways that Kejriwal sometimes surprises even Kejriwal himself. Thankfully here is a cheat sheet to develop a better understanding of Kejriwal the mystery man. This guide is inform of a alphabetic sheet which contains all the words /topics which constitute and contribute into the big aura of Sir jee.

Kejri enthusiasts are encouraged to study about the words / topics in detail to decipher the tilsam of Kejriwal.
A for Ambani/Adani/Aalu / Ashutosh / Allegation / Advertisement
B for Benadryl / Bidlan /Bhagoda
C for CD / Coward / Chanda / Clean Chit / Cough
D for Dharna / Drama / Donation /DDCA / Dalal
E for Emergency
F for Fake degree / Full State / Free
G for Gajendra
H for Hardik / Honesty certificate
I for Ink attack / Interview / Intolerance
J for Jantar Mantar
K for Kasam ( bachchon ki) /Krantikari / Kanhaiya
L for LG / Lali
M for Modi / Muffler / Mamata / Movie Review
N for Nautanki/ NGO /Notebandi
O for odd-Even
P for Proof/ Psychopath
Q for Queue (ATM wali)
R for Ration card /Ramleela Maidan
S for Shoe Attack /Shaheed / Sisodia / Sahara Diary
T for Twitter/Thappad/ Tamasha/ Thulla/Tihar/ Tongue /370 page
U for U-turn
V For Varanasi/ Victim/ Vemula
W For WagonR / Wifi
Y for Yakub
Z for Zero Portfolio / Z+ Security
Note :
1) You need not study A for Anna, H for Honesty, I for India Against corruption, J for JanLokpal, Y for Yogendra, K for Kiran, S for Shazia as these topics past are their shelf life and have been declared useless. No longer required to study them .
2) In case you are wondering where is X? Why it is missing? Yehi to gadbad hai ji.. Iski jaanch honi chahiye.. Modi Ji, Please AAP ke alphabets churana band karo.. Gareebon hi haay mat lo..
Good news is for the Delhi junta, once Kejriwal become CM of Punjab he will be spending most of the time in Delhi. Finally Delhi people will get their share of Kejriwal’s time.. All Delhi people must pray for Kejriwal’s victory in Punjab to enable him spend time in Delhi..


How To Celebrate a Liberal Diwali on Social Media with #HashTags

Step By Step guideline for Celebrating a liberal Diwali on Social Media.. #CelebrateDiwaliWithHashtags
1) Buy/Order a diesel guzzler SUV this Diwali and make it your profile pic with Hashtag #BigBoysBigToys #FeelingMacho
2) Have every inch of your house covered by total of 6 tonnes capacity Air conditioners to ensure a sound sleep your family and pet dog. Share some cute pics of your dog sleeping in AC room with the hashtag #HomeIsWhereHeartIs #MahBaby
3) Advance book tickets to watch Big Diwali release first day first show spending Rs 600 per ticket and spend another Rs 500 per plate of Nachos / Cola. Hashtag #FeelingBlessed #ADHMRocks.
) Deny a road side vendor of Crackers and Diyas their Diwali business by sharing and promoting #SmokelessDiwali #CrackerFreeDiwali #SayNoToCrackers . Share your selfies taken at Sydney Fireworks show taken during your last Sydney trip. #SensationalSydney #WhenFireLooksCool
5) Frown at your maid if she asks for a Diwali Bonus. If she still insists give her a Rs 100 note . Share this update with hashtag #GivingIsBliss #FeelingBlessed
6) If someone mentions your hypocrisies, Share posts with #IStandwithFOE, #EmergencyIsBack , #IdeaOfIndia #SayNoToHinduRashtra .
7) On Diwali morning, take pics from your own society / building with litter from cracker all around. Hashtag #FailedSwachhBharatAbhiyaan #WillModiAnswer #KyaYahihainAchcheDin.
8) In case you are confused, which hashtags are to be used, use following hashtags. These hashtags will work with any liberal message. #GangaJamunaTahjeeb #CelebrateDiwaliButRememberGaza #NoToNationalismYesToSecularism #WhyCelebrateWhenSyriaIsSuffering
9) Start browsing and planning for better and progressive festivals like Christmas. Hashtag #EarlyChristmas #Jinglebells #BeMySanta.

A letter to Almighty from JNV Katihar Family


Dear Almighty,

Right from the day I was born, I heard people say that change was the only constant.

You also gave me all hints that you too believed that everything must change.

With all due respect I have always believed that you are full of justice so all changes must be accepted.

But God Today I need to ask certain basic questions about your rule about changes.

If everything really changes why some changes have permanent impact?

Why some changes bring us the permanent loss ?

Why some changes leave a permanent void in our lives?

Why some of your changes bring a constant pain to all of us?

Why your rule about change does not change?

If your rule about change is so permanent, how can you call it a rule of change?

I thought you were selfless, above all greed. You are God after all!! Right?

But if you are so selfless, why do you call all good people to stay with you?

And if you say it is a rule  that you call all good people as and when you want, I demand a change in that rule with immediate effect. Now you can’t say no!!!

Remember your rule about the change?

Change is the only constant!! So when are you planning to change that rule about calling good people at your whim?

I am angered, shocked and hurt while writing to you.

I am sorry to say this but you need to change some rules!!

I know that is too much to ask. After all you love your rules more than anything else.

And you can not part away from them.

Okay.. Let us be fair. If you can not part from what you love, We also can not accept you parting us from what we love.

You keep your rules.. Give us our loved ones back. We wont complain.

God.. Listen to us.. We want our loved one back..

For God’s Sake.. We are tired of your cruel Pranks!!

Give us our mentors back.. We need them much more than your rules..

We love them much more than your Rules..

We want them back..

Yours hurtfully..
Jawahar Navodaya Vidyalaya Katihar, Family

Post Semifinal Names of Pakistani players!!!

New names of pakistani players and officials after wednesday..

Players:
Mohammad Hafeez : Khuda Hafiz
Kam-ran Akmal : No-run Akmal
Umar Akmal : Dumber Akmal
Abdur Razzaq : Ganda Mazzak
Abdur Rehman : Ab do Raham
Umar Gul : Batti Gul
S Akhtar : Shoaib Akhtar ( isse jyada koi kya badnaam hoga?)

Captain:
Shahid Afridi : Shaheed 'Afraid'i

Manager:
Intikhab alam : Toote Khwab alam

Coach:
Waqar younis : Bekaar Younis
Supporters :
Imran         : Kamran
Ramiz         : Fati Kameez


Above all:
Prime minister Gilani : Gila hi Gila :)

Those three words

What does it mean when someone says ‘I love you’ to someone?


 
The sentense “I Love You”  is in present tense.


It does not mention anything about future.


It talks about the present time.


It talks about the present situation.


It does not carry any insurance about the coming future.


Is it logical to feel happy about something which does not carry any insurance about future?


Is it wise to celebrate something ephemeral?


What if it means “I will love you in future too”?


It raises bigger questions.


Can anybody assure someone of future and coming events?


Is “I Love You” completely independent of future or upcoming unseen unpredictable events?


Or is it at least resistant to future?


If it is so, it must be something person saying should be 100 % sure about.





Is the person saying “I love you” is sure about ‘I’, ‘Love’ and ‘You’?





If a person is really sure what he is; I mean that he really knows “I”, then probably he/she will be more than an average human.


A monk?


A demigod?

How many of them are really around?

Not many!1


Well, if very few are sure about ‘I’, even less will be sure about ‘you’.

Its always easier to knoe oneself than others.



What about the third word.. ‘Love’?


Is it hormonal?


Is it spiritual?


Is it emotional?


Is it devotional?


Is it sensational?


Is it all of theabove listed?


Is it none of the above listed?


Is it some of the above listed?


What kinds of ‘Love’ can it there which is sandwiched between so not firm, shaken, mysterious ‘I’ and ‘You’?


Is it love in the first place?


Is it possible that these three words whose meaning individually are not clear, not sure, not permanent; when come together can make something clear, sure and permanent?


May be the answer is yes.


After all a complete piece is made up of many incomplete pieces put together.


Is it the case with “I Love You”?


Heart wants to hear yes.


Mind says ‘Are you out of your mind?”.



Whom to listen to?
 
Heart?


Mind?


Mind reasons.


Heart does not.


Heart feels.


Mind does not.


Mind says don’t believe those three words.


Heart asks what’s more believable than this.


Mind or heart?


 That’s the question.


To believe or not to believe?



That’s the question.

How well do you know Pakistani Cricket Team?







Here are few questions and answers to check your knowledge about Pakistani cricket team..

Q:  What do you call a person who shoots down Pakistani cricket team with bullets?
A:  Trouble shooter.


Q:  Which company is trying to sponsor the Pakistani cricket team?
A:  Feviquik. Because they too are good “Fixers”.

Q:  Which team is most difficult to beat in its home ground?
A:  Pakistan. No team even dares to play against them on their home grounds.


Q:  What do you call the player who is most unsure about his position in the cricket team?
A:  Pakistan cricket captain.


Q:  What was the message of PCB to coach Bob Woolmer during last world cup?
A:  Do or Die.


Q:  How will Pakistan celebrate if they win the world cup?
A:  They will have a blast at Karachi!!


Q:  Why Al-queda is jealous of Pakistani cricket team?
A:  Pakistani cricket team has more wanted and banned members than Al-queda has.


Q:  What is the smartest thing Pakistani team do?
A:  They take money for losing a match, which they will lose anyway.


Q:  Why no bowler could take 10 wickets against Pakistan after Kumble?
A:  Inzamam made sure at least 2 run outs in every match after that.


Q:  What was the winning strategy Imran khan used to handle the team in 1992 to win the cup?
A:  Laton ke bhoot baaton se nahin maante.

Q:  Why Pakistani Cricket board is so poor?
A:  Because its players do not pay PCB its share from their real income.

Q:  What can you tell about an honest Pakistani cricket player?
A:  He is poor and does not have to pay income tax.

Q:  Why Pakistani players are sad about their match fees?
A:  President Zardari has already deducted his 10% from their match fees.


Q:  Why we can expect better fielding from Pakistani side?
A:  They got enough practice “fielding” questions from Scotland Yard police.


Q:  What are the chances of Shoaib Akhtar getting retired after this world cup?
A:  20%. 80% chances are of him getting banned.


Q:  What is Pakistani strategy regarding toss?
A:  If they win the toss, they will bat, else they will bet.


Q:  Why Pakistanis are not good at catching the ball?
A:  They practiced using grenades. They always threw it, never caught it.

Q:  Why Pakistani players are often seen tempering the ball?
A:  Same answer. They practiced using grenades. They try to take out the pin before throwing it.


Q:  Does Pakistani team fix every match they lose?
A:  No.. They play honestly against India in world cups.


Q:  Why Sunny Deol is Pakistani team's favorite?
A:  Because he says: ”No (as)IF, no BUTT”.


What comes in between when Kiss happens!!

 Love is in the air. So here is a post to celebrate something that is a symbol of love. May be I should say it is the autograph of cupid, footprint of love and sign of life. It is THE KISS.


Read on...
In a scene from yesteryear blockbuster ‘3 idiots’, Kareena Kapoor’s Character Pooja asks Aamir khan aka Rancho whether Nose comes in between while kissing. I was watching ‘3 idiots’ in a theatre. I saw many couple around me trying to figure out the answers to the question by actually trying it.


I won’t recommend those methods for finding the above question. There must be better methods than unhygienic saliva transfer with a person in a dark theatre. Without being proud or arrogant, I would say reading this post is one of the better methods.


It is said that to get the right answer, it is necessary to ask right questions. E.g. take the question asked by Pooja in ‘3 Idiots’. I think it’s such a shallow question, which will only fetch a one word answer about a question typical kind of kiss we call Smooch. Even that answer won’t be correct always. If we answer yes, Nose comes in between while kissing; it is applicable to us Indians have such big and long noses which we love to poke everywhere. What about our Chinese friends, answer to this question will certainly different? Just look at their noses, given you can identify that on their face.


Sorry for the distraction, this post is not about Noses, it is about kisses. We established that Puja asked the wrong question. We can’t really blame her. What else can you expect from a drunken teenager girl? But we are not drunken and not teenager anymore.  My modified question will be what comes in between when a kiss happens. Hopefully this question will lead us to better answers.


So what is the right answer? A typical MBA answer will be ‘Depends’. Guess what, for a change; it is the right answer. It really depends upon the types of kisses involved.


Let’s try to find out what actually comes in between when different types of kiss happen.
1)      As a gesture to greet somebody, people exchange peck on the cheek. For English people, it is as common as a handshake, but in India, it is a shine of urbane and sophisticated. Here what comes between the participants is an exchange of message that I am also sophisticated as thou.


2)       Few people take “Love Me Love My Dog Phrase literally”. These people are often seen trying to get friendly with the dog of their love interests, their bosses, and their clients to get their attention, promotion or business. Kiss being the universally accepted sign of showing affection; they end up kissing their dogs too. What comes in between is the flattery, a tendency to ride up the ladder without hard work.


3)      What comes in between, various kisses depends upon at which part they are planted to. E.g. In case of Kinky kisses or tender nibbles at the ears saying I-want-you, it’s the ear which comes in between, in case of kiss at hands showing admiration hands comes in between. U can guess which part comes in between by the name. E.g. Hand kissing, nose kissing, forehead kissing etc. Caution. In case someone talking about kissing someone’s ass, it’s not a donkey that comes in between.


4)      Some kisses are born with a destiny. They are certainly more than a communication between two people. In fact sometimes people involved in a kiss may be more than thousands. Take example of Richard Gere Kissing Shilpa Shetty. Complete Indian media, Hindu fundamentalist, nationalists, political parties got involved in the kiss and they wanted their share of kiss, I mean limelight. Other examples are Rakhi Mika kiss, or Nelson Mandela Shabana Azmi kiss. Recent times have proved that kissing can also be a way of livelihood. Ask Emraan Hashmi or mallika Sheravat. In these kinds of kisses what come in between is dozens of news channels, political parties, religious organizations, and common man. Well common man is there to feel envious and wonder that how these kisses are more important than his life and death.



5)       There are few kisses in a person’s life that are very personal and worth giving right hand for.

 A) The First kiss: Nothing can replace this. First one always remains the first one. Mostly it is a stolen one, taken in a theatre, in a school classroom, in a taxi back seat. Mostly very short and awkward but certainly the sweetest. Here nothing really comes in between except the passion. Certainly the best kiss of a person.


b)      “You may now kiss the bride.” The kiss that follows this sentence comprises of commitment, love and a decision to grow old together. The first kiss of life is unforgettable by choice; this one is unforgettable by law!!! Still a very memorable one. Difference between the first kiss and wedding kiss is that you can’t have your first kiss more than once; wedding kiss can be repeated though it’s very costly.
 What comes in between a wedding kiss? I am not gonna tell you. Get married and see it yourself. :)




This is a boring note

This is a boring note.

Please note this note will bore you.

You are still reading this means you are not afraid of getting bored.

So either you are already bored or doing things you consider worse than being bored.

If you are already bored, then this note hardly makes any difference to you.

If you are not, my question is why you want to get bored?

Is your job not capable enough to bore you?

Is your life so exciting that you are almost bored of being excited?

Is it possible to get bored by excitement anyway?

What is thing that differentiates between boredom and excitement?

Why same premises, same situations, same people, same talks, same food, same job oscillates between extremes of being boring and exciting?

To understand boring, let’s try to decipher what is exciting?

Is exciting something which entertains you?

If we consider exciting same as entertaining is loose sense, it poses bigger questions in front of us?


You need entertainment to get rid of boredom. Right?

Now, this means entertainment and boredom both are opposite to each other.

You can’t be entertained while you are getting bored.

You can’t be bored while you are going through phase of entertainment.

Then what explains the concept of intervals between lectures, movies, meetings?

These intervals are supposed to recharge you?

This means these things ( lectures, movies, meetings) are likely to drain you, consume you, and tire you?


This makes these things( lectures, movies, meetings)  inherently boring.


Because if these are entertaining they should not drain you, consume you, tire you.

Things that drain you, consume you and tire you can’t be entertaining or exciting.

So they have to be boring.

So far we have agreed that you need to take a break or an interval to prevent excessive boredom.


So when you say to anyone, I need a break, you mean to say you are bored.



After you go to your bed in the night, you take a break from your life.

In other words, you are bored.

Now everybody on this planet sleeps.

Even those who claim to have very exciting lives.

Which makes us to believe that everyone around is actually bored.

Boredom is the feeling that is constant, permanent.

Phases of life where you seek entertainment and excitement are actually not your real life.

Real life is always boring.

Is life boring? Then what is death?

Life and death are opposite.

If life is boring, death must be exciting and entertaining.

If death is exciting and entertaining, why are we afraid of death?

Death is sad, death is gloomy. But only to the people who are not dead.

We don’t know for sure how death feels to people who are already dead.

Simple logic says it should be opposite to what living feel about death.

So this means, death is exciting and entertaining for those who are dead or dying.

Then phrase REST IN PEACE does not make sense.

Can you remain calm and peaceful when you are excited and entertained?

No..

This makes me utterly confused what is boring and what is exciting?


Are boring and exciting are simple myths?

Things around us are neither exciting nor boring.

Then what are they?

Think..

Bored?

Excited?

Think..

Lets question the line we started with.

Is this a boring note?






valentine day guide for girls

Fabulous February has arrived. I am sure your ears can hear the V day knocking your door and cupid arrows flying in the air. I know your young hearts are beating at the rate of 150 beats per minute.  FYI.. The heart always remains young whatever be the age  of rest of the body. If it does not, what else can explain Khushwant Singh writing a book named ‘Company of woman’ at the age of 83??

Well.. What I mean is that you have really little time left for preparing yourself for the Valentine’s Day. I am here with gender specific preparatory guide for the upcoming Valentine’s Day.

As all gentlemen said, Ladies first.. Here is a Girl’s preparatory guide for the Valentine’s Day: Read on..

1)      Your first step should be to select top 5 of the guys you think they might be interested in you. If you think all guys in your neighborhood is interested in you, Please think again. Dogs chasing car don’t know what to do even if they catch it.

2)      I am sure you are facing troubles in separating guys who you think can drive your car from other dogs who are simply chasing you. Yeah, I know it’s tough to separate guys from dogs. Both chase anything fancy, bark when they see other dogs, urinate wherever they want, smell bad, always fight over females, pant even after a little of work and are awake at night. Unfortunately, they are the only things available on the face of earth for you, given we are having straight talks. So you have to choose among them only. Remember even princesses have to settle for frogs. So go ahead at least they are better than frogs. And please don’t get any fancy ideas about a guy from his big feet or big thumbs. Rule of proportionality not applicable everywhere. It’s far easier to get to know these things when someone tells you than you finding out yourself.


3)      So you have now separated say five guys from rest of the crowd. It’s time to let them know that you are also interested in them. So now onwards you can cut down on your royal ignores you gave them when they met you in the subways. Smile more often even though they look complete idiot in their new rugged jeans and spiky hairstyle. A mild giggle when they something when you cross them for close distances will affirm your interest in you. Poor guys still believe in that old phrase “ Hasi to Phasi”. Its only you know that your fake smile and laughter is just is trailer of many things you are going to fake in coming future.


4)      Now you have to change certain things in you also. No, your novel reading skills, cooking skills, and interest in modern arts have very few takers in the opposite sex. Boys generally appreciate tangible properties and features. By tangible I mean what they can see, feel and touch. Blame it on nature, but you can do little to change how boys are designed. So go change yourself accordingly. Your comfortable two year old flat slippers are a big no no. Go for some fancy heels even though they are as comfortable as slippers with nails. I know, the pullover you are wearing is a gift from your doting dad and those mufflers your mom knitted with her own hands; but it’s time to say them bye-bye. Time to buy-buy some new fancy stuff which shows more of what nature has given you and less of what your parents has given you. The biggest myth of the world is the existence of Inner Beauty. Whenever guys hear the word Inner Beauty, they think something completely different from what creators of this word had in their minds.


5)      Now you must have decided the guy who is going to be your valentine. What ?? you haven’t?  Come on.. Have not your mummy told you “ Saare mard ek jaise hote hain”.. It’s time to listen to her; otherwise you will be spending your 14th sitting at home eating dark chocolate to fight depression.  Go ahead; select any rich guy hardly matters if he is aged, gay, married, psycho, bald or fat. You must have heard “Diamonds are forever, they are women’s best friend”. Nobody mentioned anything about who bought and gifted diamonds to ladies. People buying you gifts will come and go, but gifts are forever. What did you say, you are looking for love? To start with Love means Zero. You don’t have to try to get that. That’s what you end up after losing all your bets.


6)      Now we are here on the V-day. Guy comes to pick you up. Never ever open the door of the car yourself. Well if your Valentine came without a car, it means you didn’t follow the earlier steps carefully. Never mind, carry on. Always prefer going to some low key place. Never ever go to the shopping malls; you don’t want to show your shopaholic cougar avatar to scare him away. Don’t go the parks either. These Shiv-sena and Bajrang dal activists prefer raiding parks on Valentine’s Day, so that they can get some eyefuls before they give them mouthfuls. I don’t want you appearing on Hindi news channels with your face covered with your dupattas. Go to a place like temple or church. Places which will protect you from men from Bajrang dal and the man accompanying you.



7)      Last but the most important part of the guide: How to accept the gift your boy brought for you. First of all, be completely surprised after he pulls out a gift for you. Act surprised as if you never expected or wanted a gift. Then start with praising the gift. Ohh my God, it’s so lovely. So cute. It will go well with my blue dress or red frock. Then suddenly, change your gear by  saying... “No.. I can’t accept this. No way, I can accept gift from you. The time I spent with you is the gift”.  Make him feel miserable for buying an expensive gift for you. Make him feel more miserable by telling him that you can’t accept the gift till he starts feeling that its HIM who needs to gift you not YOU who needs a gift. After he is almost broken, accept the gift saying you are doing it for HIM only. Accept the gift and again change your gear to say a thank you with a big smile. The big smile will make the poor boy happy again as he has heard “ Hasi to Phasi”. Finish off the meal and come back home.



  Go.. Eat.. Prey.. and Love your Valentine’s day gift. Incase you forget how your Valentine looked like, here is the pic to remind how he must have looked to you!!



If you are a boy and have read this, not everything is lost for you. Wait till I come up with a guide for you too.